Sex and the city… lockdown!


Photo credit: Dainis Graveris


INTRODUCTION


It's that time of the year again, the time for V-day or rather V-week reckoning. Now, we should ideally talk about the psychological mayhem this one day is capable of causing but I would leave that to people playing pretend in sitcoms and the ones taking to proactive rants on Facebook. With our lives turned just a little more inconvenient than before, it seems quite fitting to talk about the impact of covid induced globalized de-globalization on the world of dating.


Photo credit: Dillon Shook


WORK AND OTHER THINGS FROM HOME


It has been two years since the first pandemic lockdown altered our perspective on life and despite its shock value people seem to have settled into a new form of lifestyle quite well. In the blink of an eye home schooling and work from home became common place and I didn’t hear a lot of people complain, in fact, most rejoiced. I must say it was impressive that despite a sudden shift in the way this world functions, several industries transformed, some even forced out of business, that as a community of creatures we endured and remained positive or maybe just got too comfortable slaying our couches.


It seemed like almost every topic I could come up with to assess human frustration with the current state of captivity, people had a stoic spiritual spin to drown my sadistic spirits. Every topic but one actually, the eclipse on gratification and by some stretches dubious possibilities of dating in general. Ban on places of entertainment, gatherings, travel no problem but bring up the topic of private life distress, clipped post-date benefits, blue bells and numb kitty cats and its hello tear city for most! A new age problem of deranged blue brains (totally made up term) started popping up, a unisex condition of mental exhaustion that results from all that e-dating without the possibility of a grand finale, closing of that hard earned deal as it was. Naturally, it got me thinking that you can adjust to work from home and shop from home but can you date from home too?


Photo credit: Max Libertine

WHEN THE CAT'S AWAY


Numerically speaking, million to hundred is an uneven proportion, so a few hundred cops to watch millions of resident could not be effective, needless to say rules were broken, repeatedly. Players got their fill of action through sheer determination (too bad no one thought to use their determination towards finding cure for cancer!). Dating apps search radius got smaller and doe-eyed dating requirements were ditched for physical need based quick engagements. Though it didn’t take long to exhaust all options, local isn’t infinite after all! Forced to introspect as a result of curtailed alternatives (a necessary measure for most if you ask me), some found stable relationships, some looked but just found solace in self-help devices hoping for better days and others remained in the one trick pony zone foxhunting for fresh meat.



Photo credit: Filipp Romanovski

THE NEW NORM


Much changed in the dating world, priorities for starters, all of a sudden people were more open about finding long term partners. A need to find real connections started growing again and deep seated feelings resurfaced. Constant newness of partners wasn’t a badge of honor anymore or at least most people stopped seeing it that way. To top it all, with apps and websites as the initial meeting space it became rather easy to spot those dating world light weights, as long as you let them know in no subtle terms that you are stuck somewhere far away and won’t be back in town anytime soon. Much like magic spells, as soon as you drop the distance bomb their fake charms came down and fangs came out giving you the cue to move on with your quest. Of course for every ten individuals who decided to explore new ingenious ways out finding companionship there are still five of those who remain far too stubborn to take the leap. Although, if you are choosing to wait for a perfect future to return to a former lifestyles is what it takes to calm your mind then so be it. More power to you!

Whatever choices one feels comfortable enough to make at this point, with or without traditional forms of intimacy, the possibilities of revamping dating rules and setting up customized terms of engagement are endless. Though a lot trickier than being safely cocooned in a single bedroom couple situation, bored and exhausted or blissful and laying pandemic babies, dating long distance or starting a new relationship without physical proximity can be pretty life affirming if you are willing shed some boundaries and try new approaches.


As we unlock some interesting new ways to enrapture these positive shifts in dating mindset towards building a healthy relationship (conventional or otherwise) in the next post, it would be worth sorting out your relationship goals and preferred means of getting started.


Until next post!